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Hard Working Harold
Characters Shubie Harold Martha Smith Nancy Suzy Fish Isabel Sadie Rechid Baby Rechid Evelyn Transcript (Scene cuts to Shubie, Nancy, Martha and Sadie eating at a restaurant) Sadie: "Let's play a game. If you had to go on a date any of our husbands, besides your own, who would you choose?" Nancy: "I would have to say Fred, then Tom and then Nat." Shubie(laughs): "Is my Nat not attractive enough for you? I would say Frank, then Tom and then Fred." Martha Smith(laughs): "Wow, Tom wasn't either of you two's first pick? I would say Nat, then I guess Fred, but it's pretty much a tie between him and Frank. What about you Sadie? Who would you take?" Sadie: "Definitely Nat, I mean, since I can't choose Fred. Then I'd say Frank and then Tom." Martha: "I can't believe all of your husbands were picked first at least once but mine! I must've really gotten the short end of the stick!" The women laugh. Waiter: "Here's the check." The waiter puts the check on the table. Shubie: "I've got this." Shubie reaches out for the check but Nancy stops her. Nancy: "No, I'll pay since I make the most money out of all of us." Sadie: "Well my husband makes more money than all of yours, so I'll pay." Martha: "But all of my money's inherited! You guys might need the money if you get fired, I'll never need it!" Shubie: "Why don't we all just split it?" Sadie: "Why don't we play rock, paper, scissors?" Nancy: "I like Sadie's idea better." Martha: "So do I." The women play rock, paper, scissors. Sadie: "I won! I can't believe you suckers made me pay for the meal!" Sadie puts some money on the check and the women leave the restaurant. The women pass by a place with a sign in front. Nancy stops to read the sign. Nancy: "There's a magic show here at 7!" Shubie(looks at her watch): "It's almost 7 now." Nancy: "We should go, I love magic shows!" Martha: "So do I!" The women walk into the place and sit down at a table. Announcer: "And now give it up for our magician, Harold Houdini!" The audience claps and Harold walks onto the stage. Martha: "Is that Harold? I never know that he was a magician." Harold pulls a snail out of his hat. Snail: "Meow." The audience claps. Harold pulls a baby out of his hat. The audience claps. Woman: "That's my baby!" The woman walks over to Harold and punches him in the face before taking back her baby. Harold then walks over to Evelyn and pulls a quarter out from behind her ear. The audience claps. Evelyn: "I love you Harold!" Nancy: "Does Harold do these magic tricks often? He has quite an audience!" Harold: "For my next trick, I need someone from the audience's watch." Sadie: "I have one! (Sadie looks at her wrist) Oh dang it! I left it at home!" Nancy: "I never wear a watch." Martha: "Neither do I." Shubie: "I'm wearing a watch!" Shubie walks over to Harold and gives him her watch. Harold: "And now, I will make this watch disappear!" Harold puts Shubie's watch on a table and places a napkin over it. The audience claps. Harold: "And now I will make reappear!" Harold takes the napkin off of his hand and reveals Shubie's watch. The audience begins to clap. Harold: "Whoops!" Shubie's watch slips out Harold's hand, falls onto the floor and breaks. Shubie: "You broke my watch! You have to pay for a new one!" Harold: "How much does it cost to buy a new one?" Shubie whispers the price into his ear. Harold: "It costs that much? I don't have that much money!" Shubie: "Well we're hiring new employees at the mall so you can work their until you have enough to buy a new one." Harold: "No way! Why should I do that?" Shubie: "Because I'm your best friend's wife, and unless you want there to be a problem between you and Nat, I'd suggest you get a new one." Harold(sighs): "Fine." (Scene cuts to Harold walking into the mall) Shubie: "Hey, Harold, I'm glad you could make it today. You can start off by putting a wet floor sign over that puddle over there." Shubie points to a puddle and hands Harold the sign. Harold(sighs): "Why do I even need to put a wet floor sign here? It's not like people aren't going to notice a puddle or anything!" Harold throws the wet floor sign away and walks back over to Shubie. Shubie: "You put the wet floor sign down?" Harold: "Uh, yeah." Shubie: "Great, now, I need you to go to the shoe section and help out the customers while they're buying shoes." Harold walks over to the shoe section in the back of the store. Martha Smith: "Excuse me?" Harold: "Yes?" Martha: "I'm looking for a new pair of shoes, which brand do you recommend?" Harold: "Uh... Let me check what we have." Harold walks around the corner and over to a different aisle. Nancy: "How do those shoes feel?" Isabel: "They feel good." Nancy: "Perfect! We'll buy them then." Nancy puts the shoes in her shopping cart and begins to put the other shoes Isabel tried on back on the shelf. Harold takes the pair of shoes out of Nancy's shopping cart and walks back towards Martha. Harold: "Here, you should try on these." Martha squeezes her feet into them. Martha: "Are you sure? These feel pretty tight." Harold: "Oh, yeah, they're supposed to. It's because you're so used to your old shoes that when you try on a new pair, they feel different." Martha: "Oh, ok, thanks." Martha walks away. Harold looks around and doesn't see any other customers. Harold: "Well no one's here I guess it's time for a nap." Harold lies down and begins to fall asleep. (Scene cuts to an ambulance siren) Harold wakes up from his nap. Harold: "What's going on?" Two ambulance workers push a cart towards Harold. Harold: "Who's on the cart? Is that Martha?" The cart stops in front of Harold. Martha: "The shoes you gave me cut off the blood circulation in my feet!" Martha throws the pair of shoes at Harold. The two workers push the cart into an ambulance, and the ambulance drives away. Nancy: "Hey! You stole my daughter's shoes!" Nancy punches Harold in the face and takes the shoes. Nancy: "Here you go sweetie." Nancy hands the shoes to Isabel. Isabel: "Thanks, mom." Nancy and Isabel walk away while Harold gets back up. Harold: "This is the worst job ever!" Announcer: "Attention shoppers! The store closes in 5 minutes." Harold: "Yes! Finally, time for my paycheck!" Harold walks over to Shubie. Harold: "Can I have the money now?" Shubie: "Well you put one customer in the hospital and stole shoes from a little girl, but the company did write you a paycheck today." Shubie hands Harold his paycheck. Harold opens the envelope and takes out a few dollars. Harold: "This is it? This isn't even close to enough money for your watch!" Shubie opens her envelope and takes out a lot more money than Harold. Harold: "Hey! How come you got so much more money than I did?" Shubie: "Because I've been working at this store for years and have been named employee of the month for four months in a row." Harold angrily starts to walk away. Shubie: "Hey, if you really want to get more money than you have to get tips from the customers." Harold: "Tips?" Shubie: "Yeah, when I first started working here, there were days when I got payed more from tips than I did from the actual company." Harold: "Ok, well then it's time to be the greatest employee ever!" (Scene cuts to Harold working at the mall the next day) Sadie: "Excuse me, where are the baby clothes?" Harold: "They're down over here." Harold leads Sadie over to the baby section. Sadie: "Ok, thank you." Harold: "You're welcome." Harold begins to walk away. Harold: "Oh, wait! She didn't give me a tip!" Harold turns around and sees Sadie trying some clothes on Baby Rechid. Harold: "Oh, you shouldn't buy those. You should buy these, they're way more comfortable." Harold points at different rack of baby clothes. Sadie: "Oh really? Can you hold her for a second?" Sadie hands Harold her baby and walks over to the clothes. Baby Rechid drools on Harold. Harold: "Oh, you stupid little brat!" Sadie turns around. Sadie: "Excuse me!?" Harold: "Oh, nothing. I was just saying what an adorable baby you have!" Sadie turns back around and feels the clothes. Sadie: "Oh! These do feel softer! I think I'll take these." Sadie grabs a bunch of clothes off of the rack, walks back over to Harold and takes back her baby. Sadie: "Thank you so much!" Sadie hands Harold a twenty dollar bill before walking away. Harold: "No, thank you." (Scene cuts to a montage of Harold helping out other customers and getting tips from them) (Scene cuts to Harold walking into the mall the next day) Harold walks towards Shubie. Harold: "Shubie! I bought you a new watch! It's the same one as your old one too!" Shubie: "Really? Thank you so much, Harold!" Harold begins to walk down the aisle but slips on the puddle he was supposed to put the wet sign over. The watch falls onto the ground and breaks. Shubie: "I'll see you next week, Harold." Shubie walks away. (Scene ends) Category:Transcripts Category:2017 Category:HippoHead Category:Episodes Category:Episode Transcripts Category:Nat Peterson Adventures!